Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Adopting a Soldier only for Single Soldiers?

Something I'll be more writing about in future will be Soldier's Angels. I joined the Angels back in 2004 and ever since I am volunteering with that organization. I've learned a lot from volunteering with them. Learned a lot about the Army life and experienced a totally different view of what is going on over there.

What I find fascinating is that some Army Wives don't understand the concept of "Adopting a Soldier". Some think that a married Soldier shouldn't be adopted because he'd get enough support from home and that it is wrong for a woman to write to a married Soldier. Now here is the tricky part. These Soldiers submit themselves or get submitted by a fellow Soldier, NCO , CO or a family member. Sometimes even from the wive herself because she can't afford to send one or two care packages per month. Other Soldiers simply feel lonely and want to talk to somebody outside the family, maybe because they don't want to scare her by telling her everything.
Others are going through a rough time and just want to have somebody who cares, to know that they are not forgotten by the outside world. Than there are those who got the "Dear John" letter or simply go through a rought time with their wife and need somebody to talk to, to keep going.

Every Soldier's story is different and whether he is married or not, I believe from the bottom of my heart that every Soldier out there deserves the utmost respect and support!
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2 comments:

Anne said...

Being an army wife myself, I can only provide of some possibility of the reason why "military wife" would feel "threaten" by the organization you are talking about!
I, myself was part of volunteering with soldiers that were away from home. Once it was in KY when my hubby volunteered to be the "liaison officer" of a foreign fellow officer. P is Senegalese and was following the Cpt course in Fort Knox at the same time as my hubby. I know that we made it easier for him to be away from his family/fiance/country by trying to be supportive of him. we always invited him and his friend to come eat at our home and since both my husband and I spoke their language we could communicate and not make them feel like they didn't belong. P is my hubby brother he is part of our family and will always be. We haven't seen him since 1995 but always keep contact with him and his wife. We hope one day that we will be able to meet them in Senegal (west africa) and we know we will always have a good connection.
My hubby when on a mission in Heidelberg, did a few time bring fellow soldier that were station over there when he was coming home on leave. We lived on the German French border and he will always try to bring someone who had their family back in the States. We had a good time showing french site or accompanied on tour and helping them with the translation.
Personnaly as a family "hostess" I had a great time. However I can only imagine what a wife back at home could have thought of me if they didn't have all the info. Communication is a very important key in a relationship but I do believe that most couple don't really know how to communicate. They don't necessarly tell each other everything. The worries of everyday life do tend to be forgotten, it is however very important to share those with your spouse. But for knowing what it is like to feel that your husband need to talk to some "other" women about thing. I do believe that those kind of organization should really be careful of who they place with who! A married man shouldn't be going out with a single woman even if it is just for: "socializing" and not being alone. A married soldier should only socialize with Married couple or single soldier. To me it is a "landmine waiting to blow up" to put a married soldier away from his wife into a situation where he could think that he will be better off with another woman because she is listenning to him and his issue "at the time". This is why most married military couple end up divorcing because of the non communication. I do understand that most of those soldier are alone and that it is hard on them, but they also need to remember that the wifes are back home and alone as well, don't do what you wouldn't like being done to you!! As far as I know this is my thought on the subject! Not that I am right or wrong, I just want to keep peace everywhere! ;-)
Tschuss!!

Sandra said...

Yes, communication is the main key. Sadly most couples don't know how to communicate. But it is not only communication it is also a huge lack of trust. Which is very very sad. At least in my book. How can I be married to somebody I don't trust?

We don't take them out. We adopt Soldiers downrange and send them care packages. Usually we don't even know if they are married or not. The only way to know is when their wife submitted them to the Organization. Other than that you just keep sending letters, cards and care packages so they know that somebody out there cares. I don't know why some Soldiers wouldn't tell their wives about the adoption program. Maybe they just don't think about it...

I just wished there is more understanding on both sides.