Thursday, September 24, 2009

No rank within the FRG - REALLY?

I am sorry that I have been gone for a while. I had the honor to attend the Family Readiness Team Training held by ACS. It was very informative, I got to know a lot of new people, lot's of information, lot's of eye opening information and even more confusion about regulations and do's or dont's.

I've learned about tea's and coffe's and also what a Senior Spouse is. That there is no rank within the FRG but that a Senior Spouse is somehow special and that you have to treat her with respect. How does that work with "There is no rank within the FRG!"
Why is spouse A more respectable than Spouse B? Both are women and just because her husband is a O paygrade doesn't mean that she's worth more than a Spouse that is married to E paygrade. If they want to have no rank within the FRG they should actually live it and not teach stuff like "She earns respect because of her husbands paygrade!"
NO RANK MEANS NO RANK!

However, the Senior Spouse thingy sort of confused me and I had to ask the question. "... I don't even know what a Senior Spouse is, how old do you have to be to be a Senior Spouse?"
Everybody cracked up laughing and after they explained to me that every Spouse who is married to a higher ranking Soldier is a Senior Spouse it all made sense to me. Now I understand why all my husbands Soldier call me Ma'am ever since we are married. They always called me with my first name before we got married and all of a sudden it stopped.

So in one way they don't want to have rank within the FRG on the other hand they want us to treat Senior Spouses more respectfully. In my book that is pulling rank. Rank that I didn't achieve myself. I'll be damned if I make somebody call me Ma'am just because my husband outranks you. It is my husband who is in the Army. We are just women that happen to be married to a frickin Soldier. If we weren't married to a Soldier there wouldn't be "My husband outranks your husband and that is why you have to respect me" kind of thing.

If the army ever wants to get rid of ranks within the FRG they should get rid of the entire "Senior Spouses need to be respected" thinking. Since that doesn't happen there will be always rank within the FRG!

So how about WE THE SPOUSES respect each other without pulling our husbands rank. I may be a proud NCO's wife but when it comes down to it I am a Soldiers Wife. Not more, not less. And when you break it down even further I am just a wife and he's my husband.



12 comments:

THE KNUDSENS said...

I dont understand how thats having no rank in FRG. Its still there....

satakieli said...

Oh I hate it when my husbands soldiers called me Ma'am or "MRS".... seriously just call me by my first name. But his officers called me that too until I asked them not to, I think they're just trying to be polite, but I still don't like it!

I always thought it sucked that my husbands units never have an FRG, but it seems to sort of help in these situations. All of the wives and soldiers are perfectly friendly, no matter the rank. The wives, husbands, soldiers and officers sometimes go out for drinks all together... we've had their families over for dinner etc, it's kinda nice. Perhaps it helps that most of the people higher ranking than him in his office are female.

Vesper said...

I hate to say it but....I told you so. LOL. Thats why I don't attend FRG meetings anymore.

Here's a new concept, officers have college degrees or they could not be an officer....Ok. Commonsense. They deserve a better pay grade, more respect then soldiers right out of high school. Got it. So what about others with college degrees? They are "higher ranking" metaphorically (just like an officer, who wouldn't be an officer without his college education). So all army wives with college degrees should also be a "senior spouse". If they want to play this pathetic game...

Education shouldn't matter regardless. Respect in general should be excepted from and to anyone, regardless of their rank or educational background. But the military lifestyle doesn't look at it that way, so sometimes you have to rub in your accomplishments to people who are so shallow that they call wives (who are not soldiers or officers) "senior spouse". Wow. I wish I was there.

"WHy are you a 'senior spouse'?" 'Because my husband is an officer...' 'Are YOU an officer?' 'No, but I have my responsibility as being married to one.' 'We ALL have that responsibility. We are ALL married to a soldier that risks their lives. There is NOTHING different when it comes to our responsibility as an Army wife.'

Yeah, Ive had this argument before... Good luck and I wish you peace in your FRG group. Im sure you're more fit for that position than I am. And im sure there will be PLENTY of comments that will disagree with me, so Im sorry in advance! ; )

C N Heidelberg said...

Interesting! I learn a lot about military life from your blog. :)

Anne said...

I am not even going to go into that!! hehe!! I already knew that, being a senior that I am!! (did you see that I put Senior as "of an old age"??)
LOL!! Enjoy the FRG, I am not sure I would!!

Sandra said...

HAHAHA Anne, I love you girl and no, you are not a Senior. Not to me. Seniors got to be at least 55 years old :)

Sarah said...

Glad I got to meet you the other day! I hope to see you around again. :)

Sandra said...

I am glad too Sarah. It was great to see you. I saw you at the 24 hour Shopette the other day.

Sarah said...

Sorry I didn't say hi! I tend to get in my own world when we're out and about, because I'm so used to not knowing anyone around here :)

Sandra said...

Eh, that's allright. It happens to all of us :)

Bettina said...

Senior Spouse ist eigentlich vor allem eine Spouse mit Leader Funktion in der FRG . Mein Mann ist ja auch nur E5 aber dadurch das ich FRG Leaderin war wurde ich auch " Senior Spouse

Sandra said...

Interesting. I thought it was more about the experience and not about the rank the husband has. Just because a woman is married to an Officer doesn't mean that she has any experience with, or knowledge about, the Army.